Governor Rockne

If he hadn't already, Governor Rendell crossed over into the land of delusion last night. The Governor has created this alternate existence where his official functions include, or rather are dominated by, his sports rooting interest.

Disregard for a second whether or not it was correct for the NFL to postpone last night's blizzard non-game. Listen to what our elected leader, and manager of our commonwealth's business had to say. He said that Vince Lombardi would be disappointed. He said that football is meant to be played in all conditions. Does anyone else think that perhaps he's gotten his job description mixed up with Roger Goodell's (NFL commissioner)?

I may be really old-fashioned, but though I surely enjoy NFL football, I'm not sure that it needs to be as high as it is on Ed's priority list. He reminds me of myself when I was 11 and they'd call a little league game because it got too dark. The players wanted to tough it out, but the league and parents would call the game for the sake of potential safety. Ed is that 11 year-old on the mound who wants a chance at the game-winning hit, and he doesn't want to hear about the danger of playing. This is exactly how I would want Eagles players to feel. Our governor, on the other hand, might want to own up to the fact that he is supposed to be the adult among everyone. Scarily enough, he is supposed to be the guy who advocates.....safety.

I have long felt that Mr. Rendell has been a buffoon for his formal participation as an Eagles post-game TV analyst. He sits with a straight face between Ray Didinger (NFL Hall of Fame journalist) and Vaughn Hebron (former NFL player) and he casts his analysis without his tongue at all in cheek. Today radio host Mike Missanelli asked him if he would be able to attend the Eagles game, or if (hold the laughter) official duty would prohibit it. That's a little like asking John Belushi's Blutarski ("Animal House") if he was available to interrupt the homecoming parade. If Ed had to choose between pardoning an innocent death row inmate and missing kick-off, then our collective sympathies would be with the widow by the end of the 1st quarter. Mr. Rendell has graduated from General Buffoon, to Black Belt, Master, Dr. Buffoon.

Car dealers

http://www.google.com/maps/place?cid=11855411728989350011&q=City+World+Toyota+Inc,+Boston+Road,+New+York,+NY&hl=en

Now I have to hear about that automobile's deficiencies from wife and daughter, which is worse than fighting with the dealer.

I could sleep now but I don't feel like it

Have you ever over-tightened a lug nut so that the lug just went ahead and broke? I guess I don't know my own strength.....or my Alfa's lug's weakness. I tighten those lugs a lot because a wheel fell off the car once while I was driving. I wouldn't worry about it happening again if it weren't for, ya know......the dying! So I just tightened my way into a nice repair bill. I guess I'll drive the Japanese car tomorrow.

My dog is a really beautiful individual. Yesterday, I broke down and watched the whole Eagles game. When they would show Dog Hitler's face on the screen she would leave the room to boycott. Of course the most evil person in sports has to be the best athlete as well.

My wife suffers from migraines. That's a really bad deal.

Lafayette Hill is a cool place to live. I'd recommend it to anyone. Two improvements: (1) find a way to make Ridge Pike 4 lanes all the way to Roxborough; (2) straighten Butler Pike at Germantown. The latter intersection disrupts traffic headed to and from the mall and turnpike. I know they'd have to knock down some 300 year old building where George Washington probably romanced some ladies. Small price to pay! Someone get the wrecking ball. I guess the crooked intersection wasn't so bad when twenty horse-drawn carriages passed through it on a given day.

Now that Joe Morgan was fired by ESPN, and we don't have to listen to him anymore, can someone cue up Chris Wheeler?

I asked a pro-Palestinian friend at work where she thought the Jews should go. She was raised in a household to hate Zionism. Her parents forgot to tell her that the alternative is Jewicide. She suggested Haiti.

No matter how much money people make, I can understand them spending it. I think if I had Ryan Howard's paycheck, it could still go into toilet paper, pool chemicals, Alfa Romeo repairs and of course band gear.

If I was as handsome as Charlie Sheen, I'd be jerkier than I am now, but not as jerky as he is.

It would be cool if Brett Myers was punched out by Dog Hitler the way Mrs. Myers was belted by Brett, and better yet if Myers had some vicious dogs that ate Dog Hitler in retaliation.

Does anyone know the pro band that used to employ me? That's a WT outfit!

Obama hasn't really turned around the economy, has he? Yes, these things are cyclical. He should invent the microchip and the internet. That's what Clinton and Gore did, respectively. Obama only cares about the poor. Does complaining about that sound unfair to criticize? Listen up poor people: when you tax 'the rich,' you are taxing EMPLOYERS and then they stop employing. Lesson learned?

I think departments of insurance should spend all their time investigating consumer complaints and none of it regulating insurers. It's called "Capitalism" and I can tell you from the inside that their regulation is often getting consumers higher premiums and narrower coverage.

My dad sure is against the death penalty. I should spend equal energy supporting it. He'll say things like, "where do we get the right to take away someone's life?" Well, where do we get the right to incarcerate someone and take away their freedom? Plus, electric chairs are like Alfa Romeos. You feel better having one if you can put some mileage on it. Otherwise, it's just a money pit and no fun to own. Cop-killers are good candidates to receive it. Also, mega-repeat-offender-animal-torturers....who perhaps are left-handed and play quarterback. Whoops, I forgot. He said he "made a mistake" and I think he said he's really sorry too.

Jerry Jones might be a good President. At least he gets good and angry when things go poorly. And Kim Kardashian would be a good first lady. Duh.

How come when Ryan Howard plays poorly people say he stinks, and when Chase Utley plays poorly, they say he must be hurt? Read this: Ryan Howard will go down as a better ballplayer than Utley. Rookie of the Year. MVP. 58 homers. These are historic things. Utley gets pumped up a bout 30 per cent because the girls like him. It's the same reason that Darren Daulton is remembered as a better player than he was (.245 lifetime). At least Utley advocates humane animal treatment!

If I'd had a bunch of Toyota Corollas instead of the Chevy Citation, '83 Charger, '86 Plymouth Turismo and the current Alfa, I think I'd be rich and retired.

I think women know that flatulence is funny, but they're all trained to act like they don't. They must learn that before 3rd grade when boys aren't paying attention to them yet.

My son is off-the-charts handsome. I think he'll do well with women....provided they like a man who enjoys singing randomly, "800-588-2300, Empire TODAY!"

Pandora really is a cool free on-line service. Thanks to Hank for that one! Speaking of Hank, his flatulence is so gross that it's almost not funny.....but that in itself is funny.

I think of some random people reading this and wonder if they'll conclude I'm a weirdo, while I have tried to position myself as a non-weirdo (SB?). Hey, I have one wife, 2 kids, 1 dog and a (non-picket) fence. Is any of that still considered normal? I think being up at around 1 A.M. blogging is probably pretty conventional in 2010 as well.

In a blog which includes references to both my dog Lexi, and flatulence, I would be remiss in not pointing out that her breath is worse than Hank's flatulence. Her face really does smell like garbage and feces and dead people and Soul Asylum music wrapped into one. Her face is a paradox because it looks so cute. I like to let her lick up a plate near my wife so that the wife is enveloped in the dog stink-breath. That's as funny as a Dutch oven and is less documentably cruel.

We have this one neighbor who is sort of a white collar crook. He fixes basement leaks, only the crooked part is that he doesn't fix basement leaks. I referred to him as a 'toolbox' some years ago. Danielle, then maybe 5 years old, repeated it as "The Toolboxer" and the name has stuck. That guy is about the worst feature of Lafayette Hill.

I'm trying to weave a couple themes together here like Norm MacDonald does. I think he's terrific. Laurie and I saw him at Helium and we literally sat within 10 feet of him. While he manages to cast an unhealthy image about himself, I think he actually looked good and healthy. He was definitely funny. Those who spend time with me know that I like to 'be' him and also Christopher Walken.

I think Ed Stefanski has about as much power with the Sixers these days as Wade Phillips has with the Dallas Cowboys (yes, I heard Phillips got fired). I think when people within the Eagles organization try to take some power, Andy Reid eats their young.

Well, maybe now I've gotten enough out of the day. Tomorrow I have a business lunch in....(Drum roll please, Jonathan): NEW JERSEY! So now I'm surely envied.

Thanks to anyone who read this far (surely a victim of real insomnia).

The technical challenge, and nuggets of advice to other music pros out there

The down-sides to running our little operation (www.mainlineaffair.com) are (1) when we don't get engagements, and (2) dealing with our sound system.

The latter is ironic. I love the rig! It's my hobby within a hobby. I (regrettably) like buying and swapping the PA gear. Most musicians love their instruments. I seem to like buying mixers, cables, speakers and stuff which is maybe less interesting to other people. I don't know why.

Why, ok, I have a guess. My keyboard is an 88-key Korg Triton LE88. It's a magical piece. With the sole exception of being heavy (at that, half the weight of the Yamaha Clavinova I used to use), I can't complain about anything. The reason it never gets old is because it's so complicated, that I think I only understand about 10% of how to use it. It sounds great, and it feels great, and so far I need nothing else. Because it is heavy, and because I'm sort of tough on things, it has destroyed an average of one case per year for the four years I've had it.

Enough nice things. Enemy #1 is the Carvin company in California. They shipped me speakers, one of which was dead on arrival. Hey Sally and Tom (fake bride and groom name), I had to run out to the store and buy new speakers in a rush on your wedding day because Carvin shipped me junk. Oh, they needn't have worried. I'd have hired Justin Bieber's sound tech if it was necessary, and I can always borrow stuff in emergency from my pro contacts. Anyway, naturally I wanted to return BOTH speakers. Carvin, even though they shipped me a dead one, shorted me $60 on the return. THEY penalized ME! Well, it's between us and the San Diego Better Business Bureau now.

The antithesis of Carvin (which is a store and a manufacturer) is Cintioli's Music in Oxford Circle in Philadelphia. Benny has everything, new and used, and he's the best sport about taking gear in trade. I go in, and I offer him a reasonable trade, and he gets me the stuff I need.

Musicians Friend, which is perhaps the largest instrumental retailer in the world, is a good resource too (www.musiciansfriend.com) and they are very cool about refunds/exchanges. Their phone staff are helpful and they price-match.

Mackie is a manufacturer which positions itself as a pro supplier. Well, kudos to Don Draper for helping them cultivate that image. Their stuff is over-priced crap, to our experience. We blew out a powered cabinet (vr450?) tweeter. A sound man saw me replacing it in our rig and he told me that he has had a bunch of problems with them. We also had a Mackie powered mixer (1016?) and one day half the channels stopped working. One of the two sub buses was already distorting terribly. Samson costs half of Mackie stuff and we've had much better luck with Samson.

We had EV non-powered speakers for a while. They took up too much room in the car, but they were old and still sounded awesome with the Samson unit pushing them.

My next try is a Soundcraft mixer. Gosh I'd love for a relationship with a mixer to last! Luckily my Yamaha emergency mixer is in good working order (albeit with limited features). Pro jobs need backups and redundant systems!

The morals are:
1. get a Korg Triton
2. get stuff from Cintioli's
3. don't deal with Carvin
4. don't buy Mackie stuff unless you're getting it (1) used, (2) at a much lower price, (3) low miles, and (4) to use in a small room.

I'll try to return to a more universally appealing topic next time!

31 Isn't young for some people

There is always a presumption when Chase Utley doesn't produce at the plate that it's because he's hurt. I think handsome guys get the benefit of the doubt or something. The town was always oddly supportive of Pat Burrell when he struggled. Also, Darren Daulton has a heck of a legacy for a guy who hit 48 homers in his first seven years and retired as a .245 lifetime hitter. It's "The Bubble" as portrayed by Jon Hamm in his run on 30-Rock.

In my earliest days as a baseball fan, Mike Schmidt and Dale Murphy were the two best players in the National League. I presumed both were going to be Hall of Famers, and I was insecure that perhaps Murphy was the better of the two. In 1986, his last dominant year, he hit .295 with 44 home runs. In 1987, which he played majoritively at age 31 (equivalent of this year for Utley), he fell to .224 with 24 homers. He never again hit more than those 24 homer in any of the next final 6 years of his career.

Utley may have yet some good baseball in him. He may even have some star-level baseball. But it is taken too much for granted that he is (A) slumping or (B) injured. He could be (C) on the decline. I hope he's not. Fortunately for him, either way he's more handsome than, say, Garry Cobb.

Main Line Affair Expansion - near miss and moving forward

Those close to me know that the past seven days have been a real trial. In the business of party entertainment, a lot of the investment is not efficient without teaming up with other bands. For instance, I can optimize my website, but each date is a maximum of one engagement for practical purposes. Growth requires multiple bands.

The professional band with whom I used to perform recently offered itself as an acquisition target. A deal was reached and that band, along with Main Line Affair, were to be two core components of the new Atlantic States Entertainment, LLC (www.atlanticstatesentertainment.com - under construction). Money was exchanged and I was a moment away from making an announcement about that acquisition right here on this blog.

At about that moment, the seller advised that she was not, in fact, selling. She returned the money and basically put me in a position to sue her or walk away from the deal. I was all set for the former, and then a family member from her side asked me to please not do that. I was asked to put human compassion ahead of business gains. This relative was compelling and I allowed the deal to dissolve. Those folks who are close to me know who was involved and how much work I had invested in finishing the deal, which I had not sought, and which had been offered to me.

In the shadow of this disappointment, Atlantic States Entertainment will move forward. Affiliated acts are associates of mine; folks whom I know will do a good job whenever they go out on a gig. Main Line Affair (www.mainlineaffair.com) is the flagship for the company which it was always targeted to be.

For anyone who reads this and breaks my code, let me point out that an agent in this business (F.A.) made a really positive impression on me. He helped all parties navigate through a bad situation.

I was reminded though, of the contrast between the unit I've put together and the one for whom I used to work. They are unquestionably among the best collection of musicians in the area. There are advantages to Main Line Affair.
(1) Main Line Affair is less focused on a single genre. One minute we're a Motown Band, then we're an 80's band, then classic rock, jazz, etc etc etc. We are all over the place!
(2) Main Line Affair puts on a continuous presentation. There is no CD player or ipod needed as we string together live music from beginning to end every time.
(3) Main Line Affair members are the kind of people you want at your party. They are polite, witty, articulate, clean, respectful, and impressed with YOU, our client.

The joy Main Line Affair gets from being a part of your party (did anyone see Bobby Gordon lead a whole wedding in the conga line last week? See the August 7 testimonial www.mainlineaffair.com/testimonials/html ?) Hire a band who is as excited about your party as you are.

"If you go to bed with dogs, you wake up with fleas"
-respected American captain of industry

The Cast of Main Line Affair

The fedora in the front, the ringleader, and the Buble-smooth male voice in the front is the unflappable Robert Gordon. When he embarked on this ride with us, it was his promise to dance (even) with old ladies that sealed the deal. It is he, known within as Pork Chop, who provides our most lasting visual trademark, donning the hat as a tribute the eras of (other!) great crooners, evoking Sinatra, Martin and Bobby Darin. It's all about fun with Bobby, and that's surely contagious.

Bobby's partner in chime up front is the incomparable Meg Rozinski. The girl can flat sing anything...in any key...in any language...at any time. She's a blonde who can belt like Aretha, and a Gen-Y who can let out the heartbreak like Patsy Cline or the classic sultry contentment of Etta James. She's classically trained yet she's Lady Gaga. She's at home performing, and a smile's always adorning her face. She's a sweetie and she's easy on the eyes too.

Our man of many figurative hats (not to be confused with Bobby's fedora) is our singer/guitarist John Glaubitz. Known in the hip-hop world as Slim Jinkins, and having earned a degree in classical composition from the Conservatory at the University of Cincinnati, there is no part of what we do that isn't covered by John's fingerprints. He directs our ceremony presentations, plays jazz guitar at cocktail hour, and plays solo acoustic hits (think John Mayer, Jimi Hendrix, Jack Johnson) in addition to his prominent role as a singer and guitarist in our band. John is truly a virtuoso guitarist, and most often our vocalist for hard (Dave Grohl) and classic rock ("play us some Skynyrd, man!). You can experience John in so many other endeavors as well including many local original bands, accompaniments, and handling scoring and sound production for numerous local theatre presentations. Lastly, because his musical resume can use a little padding, John is a renowned guitar teacher. I am extremely grateful to John for signing on to the MLA team early and being a key force in bringing it to the professional level.

The person to whom I owe the most gratitude is Kevin Moor. In 1993 we met and planned to team up as rock stars. By the mid-90's we were in the alternative cover band 'Innuendo' and for the past few years we have been sharing our most successful project with Main Line Affair. Kevin is equally proficient on guitar and bass and probably would have opted to play guitar if we had formed an Ozzy Osbourne or Van Halen tribute band instead of a wedding band. "Smedley" nails the high harmonies, and he's the guy who will organize Main Line Affair to the gig when I get hit by a bus. Another of our degreed musicians (University of Delaware, classical guitar performance), he gives us both credibility and sardonic wit. He also gives us the old man perspective as the only MLAer past forty (did I mention how youthful the rest of us are?).

My nickname for Jonathan McNally is 'greatest drummer in the world,' which I find entirely accurate. Also appearing with the original jazz-rock-fusion band Agent Moosehead, Jon is an awesome musician, and one of the nicest guys I know. He's also tall enough to change recessed light bulbs without a ladder, and you never know when that'll come in handy. We haven't tapped him yet vocally, but I think he'll do well as a bass singer in a 50's doo-wop group.

Jim "Big Smooth" Crompton plays a pile of different saxophones and is an expert musical arranger. He is the musical director of the Avalon String Band, Mummer fans should know. Jim brings biting humor from a very male point of few, and frankly, he's good at making sure that no one acts like a sissy. That's important because to do a good job, everyone has to suck it up and be a man (including Meg). Not so long ago, Jim was the starting right tackle at Lycoming University, so he'll be the enforcer when we need one.

I want to conclude this scintillating blog with an announcement of major proportions. Mr. AJ Cutright has joined Main Line Affair in a dual role of trumpeter and singer. AJ has his masters in trumpet performance and has appeared with the Pittsburgh opera. He brings an authentic high male vocal for staples like Bon Jovi and Journey, which are so popular these days. We're really excited to add yet another layer of versatility to this band.

I also want to give a shout to Greg Morrone and Kathlyn Ashford, both of whom were instrumental in building Main Line Affair along the way.

So there you have it, and the moral is the same as it always is: check out

www.mainlineaffair.com

!

　

　

　

Howard Goldstein

(888) 284-6235

www.mainlineaffair.com

　

　

　

Wedding Band High

Main Line Affair finished playing a wedding three hours ago and it's 2AM, and I'm completely wide awake. This is not atypical. It's a big high. Two people just trusted us with their wedding. It's over now, and luckily it was another triumph. An event that will live forever in the minds of two fine young people and their friends and families, and they entrusted Main Line Affair with it. It's a heck of a responsibility we undertake, and I suppose it's normal to take all that it entailed and need to process it in a way that makes sleep elusive. There was happiness, a lot of dancing and a lot of heartfelt moments among family members. For a few hours, we were in the middle of all that and then it's gone. So we wind up with pride, fun and relief. In this case, our equipment all had to up a whole slew of stairs into an old mansion's great room, and then it had to come back down. I did a good amount of this labor myself so it stands to reason that I should very much be sleeping. And yet, I'm wide awake. My dog is looking at me like I'm nuts. Tomorrow....another town, another wedding, another time where it will be difficult to fall asleep, and hopefully another occasion to earn some stripes among Philadelphia Wedding Band elite.

Main Line Affair vs. one of the all-time greats

I was attending a banquet recently. A friend, or at least my wife’s friend’s husband, was talking about a corporate function he had attended through his employer. He’s a great guy, and a real heavy hitter in the business world, and if I dropped the name of the employer and what he does there, it would be really impressive. Take my word for it; the guy has an interesting and high profile job.

He brought this up in the context of the fact that an elderly woman in a wheelchair had gotten in by accident. Someone saw her dressed for a banquet, and they saw the wheelchair, and gave her the assistance she needed to enter the facility (which is also famous). She announced shortly after that she didn’t seem to be in the Freeman Bar Mitzvah, which was true. So the moral within the story, within the story, is that a wheelchair is a great tool to use to crash big parties.

In any event, my friend described in some detail how lavish the party was, and to what lengths his boss had gone to make the party unforgettable. The food was extravagant. The décor was extravagant. The guest list was impressive. I told him, "you know, for next time, I’d love to bring Main Line Affair to that kind of event, and I promise we'd do a great job for you."

He replied that it was an interesting idea and asked I knew who they’d gotten (instead). I didn’t, and when he indicated that it was Earth Wind and Fire, I just asked that we be at least Plan B next time.

I’ll concede that they could be a better band, but I bet our variety is better. What if someone had asked for songs by Sinatra, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Carrie Underwood, Glen Miller or Lynyrd Skynyrd? The points is that even when you could have Earth Wind and Fire, there is at least still a compelling reason to have Main Line Affair instead.

A Day in the Life - well, 3 days

I thought it might be fun to write about all that a party gig entails, and how I earn as much as maybe $2/hour to be the bandleader of Main Line Affair.

One thing MLA loves to do is take a road trip; and not just because it gets me away from my family all day as Laurie Goldstein likes to say. New York City is a favorite for reasons which should require explanation to no one.

Mr. B. Esq. and his lovely wife Dr. K. (modern Huxtables?) were nice enough to invite MLA to play at their (post) wedding celebration in Metropolis on Saturday night May 1. For me, the travel preparation began Friday night, when I completed my secret (insurance) career's duties for the day. I stopped at my friendly local U-Haul store and rented a trailer. They didn't quite have the little trailer I had reserved on line weeks ago, so I drove off with what felt like a very over-sized trailer. I wasn't excited about the giant trailer.

After seeing the great Norm MacDonald with my wife on Friday night at Helium in Center City Philadelphia, I loaded the trailer and "installed" the middle-row center seat I got on ebay. It's for a Honda Odyssey and my car is not Honda Odyssey, but it looks pretty natural in there anyway. The MLA Mobile is a 7-seater, and MLA is an 8-person entourage. The extra seat got the job done! Luckily, it was the season's first oppressive hot and humid night....wait, that actually really sucked.

The next morning proved I had backed the trailer into my driveway successfully, for really the first time ever.

Early enough in the afternoon, all were present at my house, a little over 100 miles from Manhattan, and ready to go. John, our brilliant guitarist, had another engagement in New York and later met us at the job.

The ride includes eating, drinking, teasing, laughing, and in this case, watching The Simpson's on DVD. The author was driving so I had to enjoy the Simpson's from the sound only. Included was the episode where Mr. Burns' shooting was investigated.

This was the view over my shoulder. Jonathan's (drums) eye-ball is the element of this picture that will win me my cell phone photography Pulitzer. Bobby, the Michael Buble of MLA, is earnestly texting or something. To the left is Kevin ("Smedley") the MLA co-pilot and bassist. The third picture above is my self-portrait, and as this was the Jersey Turnpike, I think the pic is a little 'Tony Soprano,' even if I am not.

Above - we have a girl in the band (Meg), so we had to stop. This was the Grover Cleveland rest stop. Because Grover was President twice, history has given all subsequent Presidents the wrong number. For instance, Obama is only the 44th man (as he's always called) because Grover was counted both times. I think Grover should be counted only once. And by the way Gore, Grover won the popular vote for reelection after the first time, lost in the electoral college, and then won again four years later. If you're supposed to be President, you will be, Gore. You aren't. Did I digress?

MLA makes the final approach to the Lincoln Tunnel. The blackberry picture does no justice to our proximity to the big city. The Empire State Building is a minor pencil line above the car in front of us.

We arrive on West 20th Street, where countless art galleries call home. Guitar John is waiting for us. The next challenge is parking. After we moved everything to the elevator inside, I go space hunting. I was rejected at a lot on 23rd @ 10th Ave. Thanks a lot! The guy at 20th and 10th was a little skeptical looking too, but he got a piece of green inspiration as part of what would become an $84 total parking load. At that I was relieved that parking existed.

The performance itself can be another blog. The important element is that everyone had fun and the client said they were really happy, and that we had lived up to my promises. That's a very cool ending, because I would truly feel terrible if someone had buyer's remorse.

Everything then moved in reverse, with John joining us and filling the MLA-mobile as 8th rider. We stopped for a snack as soon as we got back into New Jersey at the Alexander Hamilton rest stop. Alex never got to be President, because he got into a duel with then-Vice President Aaron Burr, who also was never President, but was superior that day (as was Roy Halladay to Johan Santana this weekend). (Sidenote-the Phillies seem to trounce the Mets when their games coincide with MLA NY trips).

When I came out of the rest stop, which was an ice cream store to me, the kids (everone but me and Smedley) had made themselves comfortable on the over-sized trailer.

After just another hour and a half of driving, unloading, and then returning the trailer to U-Haul at 3AM (another comedy where I had trouble finding a spot on their lot level enough that the trailer wouldn't roll away..... there was some trial and error).

Poor little Conan!

The reason I'm up typing so late is that I feel so badly for Conan O'Brien that I can't sleep. Conan: "I wouldn't have done what Jay did." Oh really? Oh Holy Conan. By the way, by most first-hand accounts, Jay is a first class selfish jerk, but I'm going to torch Conan because his public seems to view him with victim status. First he leverages to take Jay's job years ago. OK, that's business, and he had the leverage. Then, he failed to maintain the ratings that Leno had. He considers that task to be an unfair challenge, but by combining all of his audience with what should have been a big chunk of Leno's, he should have come a lot closer. Both of these megalomaniacs have one job where the network is concerned: get ratings = make people watch commercials = maximize advertising revenue. It doesn't matter which guy is a better guy, or who is funniest. His job was to get ratings; largely in comparison to Leno's and he did a horrific job of this. So ultimately, Leno got busy with the leverage that he then had, as O'Brien had done years ago, and reclaimed a job that Conan had taken from him, and "Coco" has the audacity to complain? Oh, and let me not forget to note that this wasn't some poor shnook who lost his job and went crawling home. He negotiated a boatload of money that Tiger Woods will be hard pressed to earn this year. I think if the penalty for doing a bad job was a deep eight-figure pay-off, more people would be conscientious about doing a lousy job. So my hope for Jay and Conan is that both will admit that they too, like NBC and NBC affiliates, are driven by their own profitablity, that they are big boys, and that they don't deserve the public sympathy which for some reason has attached to Conan O'Brien.

Original Music

Main Line Affair is dedicated to the simple, dedicated task of party entertainment. That being said, almost all musicians have at some time or other created music of their own; music which is by necessity not featured by Main Line Affair (anyone want original music at their wedding?). My colleagues in MLA are no different than other musicians. All eight of us currently, or at some time have, produced original music.

The most prolific of my colleagues is John Glaubitz, the guitarist/singer. John has made himself a full career within music, with gigs in the world of classical, jazz, world, hip-hop, and hard rock, his favorite. He's really good too. Look up 'Vagrant' on myspace or on Ernie Ball battle of the bands. (this thing isn't letting me paste links!). If you like heavy music that's still brainy and melodic, John's stuff is for you.

Ross Fry, our trumpeter, and Meg Rozinski, our female leading lady are also aspiring songwriters. Check them out too.

I've known many deserving songwriters, but I guess there are so many, and so it's so hard to get separation from the many. Sometimes I think that if washed-ups like Rod Stewart would stop trying to make music, there would be room for these kids to succeed. While I'm ending Rod's career, I'd also like to put a lid on so many other lousy acts, but that could be a different blog.

Today's theme is to check out the original musicians within Main Line Affair. Oh yeah, and the theme is always not to have any parties without Main Line Affair (www.mainlineaffair.com).

A couple good pairings still in Philly

I just finished Randy Miller's exceptionally good biography of Harry Kalas. One of the themes covered, as a subset of how truly beloved of a figure Harry was, was how much people enjoyed the pairing of Harry Kalas with Rich "Whitey" Ashburn. We Phils fans knew we loved their presentation, but I'm not sure that we were cognizant of it sufficiently in its time. Of course if you listen to the Phils telecast now, its former greatness is not lost on you. (that's not an implication of Sarge, either)

If you are looking for a modern pair of terrific sports uncles, how about Ray Didinger and Glen Macnow? I think most people like listening to the pairing, but perhaps we are guilty again of not realizing how special the pairing is in its own time. These guys are both very experienced sports journalists and they both come across the air as supremely nice guys. They've even authored books together.

Ray Didinger has worked for the old Philadelphia Bulletin, the Daily News, NFL Films and Comcast Sportsnet in addition to 610 WIP, where he often does a Saturday morning show with Glen. He gained my particular admiration for sharing my opinion, and expressing it that he has "no use" for Michael Vick and can't wait until he leaves town. If you are looking for an opinion of the talent level of some obscure backup offensive lineman somewhere in the NFL, Ray's is about the only researched among the local broadcasters.

While Harry was the the play-by-play man, and Whitey was the king of dry humor, Glen serves as both the lead talker and primary humorist on the Didinger/Macnow show. Glen is the more emotional of the two, and expertly cajoles Ray into taking the same stands. A native of Buffalo, NY, Glen has earned his Philadelphia bona fides with a couple decades in Philly, including a long stint with the Philadelphia Inquirer. He is also our community's leading food critic (not that silly Craig LeBan), having conducted detailed study's on the area's best burgers, pizza, cheeseteaks and more.

With a very honorable and respectful mention to Merrill Reese and Mike Quick, who unfortunately just don't work as many occasions but who are also awesome, we should all be grateful for the talk-radio pairing of Didinger and Macnow. Let's not wait until Chris Wheeler and some bobo take their slot before we acknowledge just how good they are.

P.S. Hire Main Line Affair (www.mainlineaffair.com) for your next wedding, event, pool party or anything else!

Weight management

Well, I'm in my last five days of MediFast, the latest diet. I'm not like people who try these, mix in a few donuts and pizzas, and then say the diet didn't work. Oh no. This is the 4th time in the last couple years that I've taken off more than 25 lbs. I've eaten nothing but what the diet says I can eat. I've had an incredible in-take of diet soda, which presumably is terrible for me (it has to be terrible because everything tasty is bad for me). My wife isn't even happy about the weight loss. She wants me to sign an affadavit not to gain back the weight before she'll even notice that my pants fit again. But, Main Line Affair (www.mainlineaffair.com) is shooting a video this weekend to feature Megan Rosinski, the new star. I must be thin for that. With the tux on, it just shows in the face.

I'm hungry. Since Saturday is the end of the diet, and the video, we're going to do a post-shoot celebration at one of NJ's finest diners.

Bye bye Donovan, Can you take Chris Wheeler with you?

Well, now I guess I'm just addicted to this blogging thing.

My post-script on observing McNabb for the past 11 years-
1. Never was a human being so adept at difficult physical feats while simultaneously being so incompetent with little ones.
2. It should be unlawful for Clownovan (my own nickname!) to run for a first down against the Eagles since he was dedicated to not running for first downs for the Eagles.
3. Kolb may not turn out to be 5% of the athlete that McNabb has been. He's already fifty times more skilled at speaking to the media. Clownovan was always such a contradiction and sometimes a downright buffoon. "I don't let the fans bother me." "The fans bother me." "I'm the leader of the team." "A lot of guys don't know a lot of rules." "We showed our youth." "I don't throw people under the bus and I never have." "I played great. (he got benched)

Hey Phillies advertisers - I watch the game with no sound now because the Wheels broadcast is so horrendous. Oh yeah, and there are like a million Phillies fans who feel the same way. The Phillies broadcast quality has loosely mirrored AIG stock prices.

Brian Boucher - the moment is yours

In search of the end-goal (Championship), we should also be able to savor little moments along the way, maybe even moreso if the championship isn't going to happen.

Tonight, after a telescopic shot by Claude Giroux, Brian Boucher had the ability to single-handedly assure the Flyers trip to the playoffs. Boucher has been criticized a lot lately and his play has been very unpredictable. But never could a moment provide a more basic referendum on an individual's season than this one did. Save/no save. Win/lose. Winner/loser. Well, Boucher saved, won and is thus a winner, and a hero of the moment for history.

True, this will likely just serve to momentarily preserve a season which may not have deserved to be prolonged, but the moment was worth having.

My first ever blog

I have never blogged before, but I do like to write and I do like to promote http://www.mainlineaffair.com/.

Main Line Affair is truly a great product. I work with seven other extremely talented people, and they are all nice, and they all do what is needed to be done to make sure that clients who hire Main Line Affair are very happy. If you look at the testimonials on http://www.mainlineaffair.com/ you will see a history of very happy people. These remarks are absolutely true and unaltered.

The question I most often get seeks to understand how we are so affordable compared with other bands of similar quality. The answers are:

1. We have been around 3 years. Many of these bands have been around for a decade + and they have had a long time to fill out their calendars and be more choosy about what they do. I am trying to build a track record and a reputation like theirs. I want Main Line Affair to be considered great like Jellyroll, or CTO or Big City (for whom I used to play).

2. My overhead is low. I do not support a facility. I do not advertise on the radio, nor on buses, nor billboards.

3. We do not outsource production. We use our own owned sound system and we set it up ourselves. In short, I think we work harder by combining long engagements with set-ups and tear-downs, and we save our clients money that way. Maybe because the average age of my seven helpers is under 30, and I don't think any other comparable band is in that boat. Still, don't be put off by them being overly young either. Their youth makes them run more energetic, and maybe care more than other bands because they are not burnt out on playing affairs. (and if you think the musicianship isn't as good, then you really need to see Main Line Affair).

Brandywine Valley, CTO and EBE all provide truly terrific products, and you will get a good result if you hire one of their bands. If you want something very high quality, and perhaps to save meaningful money (and not everyone can afford one of theirs), then you need to check out Main Line Affair.

Best regards to all people planning a special party!

Howard "The Goldster" Goldstein