Guitar Center ProCoverage STINKS!

I am often stuck for ideas about which to blog.  Main Line Affair is the best thing going in Philadelphia Wedding Bands; I've made that clear and I believe it fully. 

Here's some insight to why bands cost money:  I bought a piece of equipment at Guitar Center.  They sold me their Pro Coverage and the guy emphasized, "yeah just drop it off and pick up another one....yada yada yada," and I bought their little insurance  policy.

This wouldn't be a story if the thing wasn't broken.  The store, rather than have me "just drop it off," instead passed me to an 800 number, which was the first in a maze of 800 numbers.  Ultimately, when I got the thing back, weeks and aggravation later, it wasn't even fixed.  They paid to have it go to the manufacturer (Galaxy, you stink too) who didn't fix it. 

I wish someone had stolen it or set it on fire, because that would have kicked in the replacement feature.  But they didn't and I'm not going to invent that they did.  Maybe I'll just give it the treatment that Michael Bolton and Amir gave the fax machine in 'Office Space,' because anything would be better than attempting to have it fixed by Guitar Center's useless plan again. 

So brides, to get married, part of what has to be financed is multimillion dollar corporations ripping off little minstrels like me.

2012

I haven't blogged in quite a while, which is why I am blogging now.  2012 has been a nice year and the brides we've met have been absolutely terrific.

Eastern Long Island was our longest ride so far this year, but next year we're headed to North Carolina.

If you've been to the site and seen the testimonials, then you know we're being appreciated very nicely as always. 

The MLA sound rig is better than ever.  Keeping a bunch of wireless mics cooperating is a lot like spinning plates.  The solution, it turns out, is buying new ones and this I have done.  We also have a pair of 1500 watt JBL main speakers, and these are very impressive.

While I used to combine MLA with regular employment, I have now embarked on a fully self-employed life.  Now I can spend more time with brides and grooms and prepare them for how great their party is going to be.

Speaking of that, I'd love to take full responsibility for the outcome, but I have some caveats to share with you prospective brides:

1. Always have the party at a place with good air conditioning.  You can't keep people in the party if the room is not well climate-controlled.
2. Make sure the lights are turned down after dinner.  People prefer to dance in the dark, and the fancy, flashing MLA light rig is only pronounced in a darker setting.
3. Invite enough drinkers.  No crowd at the bar almost will always equate to no crowd dancing.
4. Smokers are tricky.  They leave the party room to smoke.  I don't know what the solution is, but for each smoker you have to invite, also invite a pile of people who don't smoke.  That's partly in jest, but there's truth behind it.

As always, if you want your party to be great, then visit www.mainlineaffair.com and get signed up with us.  We pass a low-overhead price on to you, and we are frankly better than many of the bands which charge double our fee.

Did you know: the median age of a member of Main Line Affair is 27 years old?  All the other bands who can do what we can do are......not 27 years old.  Maybe that's why there are 8 people rocking out at our gigs for 3 hours and 40 minutes out of every 4 hour gig we do.  Think about that!

Is it live...or is it BS?

From day 1, every sound that has been produced by Main Line Affair has been 100% live. I've never worked with sequencers*. My 7 colleagues and I are vulnerable to making a mistake at any moment, and I suppose that is what makes good performance exciting. If there was no way for a trapeze artist to err, and to go plunging into the safety net, would it be as interesting? The most compelling view is of the acrobat working with no net, and that is what Main Line Affair and other 100% live bands are all about. Once I worked as a substitute with another well-known local wedding band. Unbeknownst to me before arriving, their instruments were fully 'sequenced,' meaning that I was supposed to stand there with my fancy keyboard and pretend to play. That was pretty lame. I feel like our clients pay for 100% live music, and if they didn't want that, then they'd just settle for a DJ.

The other problem with sequencing, I would guess, is that it would take away our spontaneity. I usually figure out what song we will play next, and the other people in the band find out about 20-30 seconds before we suddently change into the next song. I don't see how a sequencer could keep up, but then again I am not a sequencer user.

I'm sure some folks don't mind if the music is partially pre-recorded, but if you do prefer that it's totally live, then visit www.mainlineaffair.com. That's how we do it.


* A sequencer is a fancy musicians word which refers to a machine that is producing pre-programmed music.

Tunes for the Young People, Tunes for the Old People

Indeed, my sister Wendy is right. The blog is for good feeling.

"Dog Days Are Over" was added by Main Line Affair, the premier Philadelphia Wedding Band, at last night's practice. Anne Marie sounds both great and authentic on it and she promised that the young folks will like it and dance with enthusiasm.

An upcoming bride, actually a personal friend, has appointed "All I Ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera as her first dance. Bobby, with his theater background, will no doubt enjoy the 4 minute casting as Raoul.

Google caused some confusion recently, so if it pleases the public and my friend Carmen, be clear that Main Line Affair is not, nor does it represent itself to be a part of CTO! We respect them immensely, but we are completely independent of them.

As always, visit www.mainlineaffair.com which has been updated since my last entry!

Comcast

We have made a few inquiries to try to get our phone service fixed. It went out in the lightning storm. They try every way to get us to fix our own phone. On our third try, we called and the message says they are experiencing 'higher than normal' call volume, which it always says. This means that it is normal; not otherwise. First it said six minute wait time, and it encouraged us to hang up. When we didn't, it asked us to call back at our convenience because the wait time is more than ten minutes. See, it's all about our convenience.

Governor Rockne

If he hadn't already, Governor Rendell crossed over into the land of delusion last night. The Governor has created this alternate existence where his official functions include, or rather are dominated by, his sports rooting interest.

Disregard for a second whether or not it was correct for the NFL to postpone last night's blizzard non-game. Listen to what our elected leader, and manager of our commonwealth's business had to say. He said that Vince Lombardi would be disappointed. He said that football is meant to be played in all conditions. Does anyone else think that perhaps he's gotten his job description mixed up with Roger Goodell's (NFL commissioner)?

I may be really old-fashioned, but though I surely enjoy NFL football, I'm not sure that it needs to be as high as it is on Ed's priority list. He reminds me of myself when I was 11 and they'd call a little league game because it got too dark. The players wanted to tough it out, but the league and parents would call the game for the sake of potential safety. Ed is that 11 year-old on the mound who wants a chance at the game-winning hit, and he doesn't want to hear about the danger of playing. This is exactly how I would want Eagles players to feel. Our governor, on the other hand, might want to own up to the fact that he is supposed to be the adult among everyone. Scarily enough, he is supposed to be the guy who advocates.....safety.

I have long felt that Mr. Rendell has been a buffoon for his formal participation as an Eagles post-game TV analyst. He sits with a straight face between Ray Didinger (NFL Hall of Fame journalist) and Vaughn Hebron (former NFL player) and he casts his analysis without his tongue at all in cheek. Today radio host Mike Missanelli asked him if he would be able to attend the Eagles game, or if (hold the laughter) official duty would prohibit it. That's a little like asking John Belushi's Blutarski ("Animal House") if he was available to interrupt the homecoming parade. If Ed had to choose between pardoning an innocent death row inmate and missing kick-off, then our collective sympathies would be with the widow by the end of the 1st quarter. Mr. Rendell has graduated from General Buffoon, to Black Belt, Master, Dr. Buffoon.

Car dealers

http://www.google.com/maps/place?cid=11855411728989350011&q=City+World+Toyota+Inc,+Boston+Road,+New+York,+NY&hl=en

Now I have to hear about that automobile's deficiencies from wife and daughter, which is worse than fighting with the dealer.